These rules used to be referred to variously as the guidelines of effective focus, or, the hand rules, or how to mind your own business…but over time, with most of my clients, these core concepts get brought up so often they’ve just become…The Rules.
And, believe me, I’m no rule giver or rule follower! But, these rules…well, I’ve just never found an example, in 2 decades with over 300 clients in thousands of complex situations, where they don’t perfectly apply. They cut through the confusion and help you focus on where you can actually positively influence your reality and make a difference in your life…and isn’t that what we all want, to be able to actually have a measure of control over things?
Following the rules also avoids the MAJOR PITFALL that almost everyone falls into: Wasting energy pushing against things you can’t control, resulting in stress, anxiety, decreased performance, disconnection from intuition/gut feel, frustration, anger, illness, corroded relationships, etc, etc, etc. Not good.
By the way, the core philosophy of The Rules is simple. You focus only on what you CAN CONTROL, and avoid the temptation to give mental and emotional focus to things you do not control. You thereby “spend” all of your precious energy where it actually can be of use. Boom!
The Rules (For Operating Effectively in This World)
The rules come down to, mind your own business…
Your Business: What you think, feel, say and do (Rule: Focus on this.)
Other People’s Business: What they think, feel, say and do (Rule: Do not focus on this.)
The Universe’s Business: Everything Else! Outcomes, happenings, events, how things turn out, the future, if a certain thing will or won’t happen a certain way, if I get a good performance review or not, how much my company gets sold for, etc, etc, etc. (WHAATT???? I’ve based my whole life on controlling these things and this is why I’m hiring you, to control them better!!!! It’s OK, I hear your objections…Don’t worry, I will explain the nuance, and in the end, you WILL have better “control,” you just have to approach things in the opposite way.) (Rule: Do not focus on this.)
Any time you are indecisive, confused, stressed, anxious or frustrated, you probably need to apply the rules, and ask yourself, am I minding my own business? What in this situation is for me to focus on? What is right action and right focus for me?
Mastering the application of The Rules changes everything.